Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
You blew him?!?!
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.