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• (925): View more from California

  just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...

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• (585): View more from New York

  My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.

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  17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.

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• (803): View more from South Carolina

  I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.

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• (845): View more from New York

  No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back

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  These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door

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• (219): View more from Indiana

  "I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."

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• (315): View more from New York

  I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.

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• (810): View more from Michigan

  You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up

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