He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
