You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
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