did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
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