i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
If I die, sorry about rent.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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