Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
