I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
