I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Are we still banned from the library?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Randomize
