Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
