I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
