i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
