I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
