he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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