Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
