East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize
