She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
