I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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