I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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