well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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