i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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