my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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