I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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