Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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