The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
