Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Randomize
