apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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