You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
