yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
My ATM looks so different sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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