i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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