i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
