Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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