Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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