I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
