Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
