Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize