Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Operation Purity has been aborted
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
