the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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