so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
