so that wasnt chicken after all
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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