if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
