What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
