no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
