There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize