her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis