stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape