It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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