I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants