Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god