Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
21 Times Karma Showed These People Not to Mess Around
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.