i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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