It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
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I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
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I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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