wrigley field is MILF paradise
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
