So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
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