My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
