Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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