She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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