Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
