This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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