we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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