butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
