Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
